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There's this person in my head. She's brilliant. Capable. She can do chest tubes and craniotomies, she can run a code without freaking out. She's a really good surgeon. Maybe even a great surgeon. She's me. Only so much better. It was a good day. Maybe even a great day. I was a good doctor, even when it was hard, I was the me in my head. There was a moment when I thought I can't do this, I can't do this alone. I close my eyes and imagine myself doing it, and I did, I blocked out the fear, and I did it.

The Becoming is the fourteenth episode of the fourth season and the 75th overall episode of Grey's Anatomy.

Short Summary[]

Preston Burke receives the Harper Avery, a prestigious award, which causes Cristina to put to rest her old feelings. Meredith continues with therapy as she tries to get over Derek, with whom she is a partner in a clinical trial, and who is dating Nurse Rose. The nurse's union files a formal complaint against the actions of Mark Sloan, causing the hospital employees to document their sexual histories. Alex tries to reconcile himself to the fact that he might be a father. Callie and Mark have sex multiple times.

Full Summary[]

Bailey is walking her son around the hospital. She comes across Richard, who pins something to the board. It's good news and reflects well on the hospital, but they both suspect Yang might have a problem with it.

Meredith tells Katharine she can't stop thinking about kissing Derek, which is making surgery difficult. Meredith wants psychiatry tools to get over it because they have their fifth trial patient today. Katharine is not sure she wants to move on, but she says that the only way to get over fantasies is to remind yourself of the reality. The kissing is not going to happen because he's with Rose, Meredith says.

Before entering the room, Meredith reminds herself Derek is with Rose. She apologizes for being late, but they just got started. Kevin, Darren's father, is doubtful about the technique. Derek admits it's risky. A soldier appears in the doorway and says that Darren has survived two tours in Afghanistan, so he's used to risk. Kevin called Todd, who used to be in a platoon with Darren, because he figured his son needed friends by his side.

Bailey knocks on an on-call room door to get Mark. Mark, who was obviously getting busy, opens the door. Bailey tells him that nurse Tania is no longer available for his upcoming surgery. He tells her to get him nurse Kate then and closes the door. Bailey knocks again, this time for Callie. She tells Callie that Mark has requested nurse Kate, who's scheduled to be in her OR, but if Callie moves it back an hour, Kate can do both. Bailey knocks again as there's no response except for giggling. Callie opens the door and says it's fine. She tells Bailey not to judge her and closes the door.

Derek and Rose ride the elevator together. She comments that she's not meaning to torture him, she just doesn't take sex with the new guy lightly. He says it's no big deal. She replies that she's worth the wait.

Cristina finds her colleagues trying to cover something at the bulletin board. It's revealed to be an article about Burke winning the Harper Avery Award. Cristina says that's good for him.

Izzie is amazed that they know someone who won the Harper Avery. Alex asks her to ask Meredith if Rebecca can move in. They're going to get their own place, but he's gonna have to save up for a couple of weeks for the security deposit. Izzie asks about Rebecca's family. Alex admits that it's a mess, but they're figuring it out. Alex reminds Izzie that Rebecca is pregnant before he leaves the room.

Hahn is asking a group of doctors some questions about a patient, who needs a heart transplant but has had a special treatment to suppress her immune system in order for her not to reject the donor heart, for which she was at high risk. She notices Cristina is not paying attention and asks if she's bored, because if so, she can get to the morgue to harvest donor hearts for research. Cristina would love to go the morgue. As she walks off, Erica takes the group of doctors to the "mom in the plastic bubble". 

Kyra is crying behind the plastic wall. It's been eight weeks since she's touched other human beings. She wants to hug her kids and kiss her husband. Erica tells her to listen and takes her hand through the special gloves in the wall. They have a heart for her. Kyra is delighted.

Mark was paged by the Chief, who received a call from HR this morning. As of this morning, the nurses are officially boycotting Mark's surgeries. Mark claims he didn't do anything to the nurses, but Richard says they felt strong enough about it to send a union rep. They enter the conference room and find out the union rep turns out to be Adele. Adele says she's not just a housewife anymore. There have been complaints about Sloan, which the hospital has ignored up until now. Mark says everything he did was consentual. The guy from HR says there have been no official harassment complaints, but the board has decided to protect itself from possible future litigation. So as of now, co-workers have to register relationships with each other. Mark says that's ridiculous, but Adele asks Richard if he wants to wait until he has a $20 million lawsuit on his hands. Richard tells Mark to fill out the form. Adele gives Richard a form to fill out as well.

Lexie is with Cristina in the morgue. She asks if Cristina is okay. She wanted to check because Cristina passed on a really awesome case. She wonders if it has anything to do with Burke's thing, as she heard about Cristina and Burke. Cristina doesn't reply, but starts singing Like A Virgin instead as she starts cutting in the corpse's chest. Lexie doesn't know what to do and decides to sing along, but Cristina makes it clear she has to go by giving her a look. Lexie goes to chart and Cristina returns to singing and cutting.

Richard asks Adele why she's gone back to work. Adele tells Richard this is not about the money, as she has 50% of his. What she needs is to be taken seriously and she loves to be working again. She has changed. Richard says he has changed to. He's deligating. She scoffs and says she's heard that before, but he says he's gotten himself an intern. He says change feels good.

Richard finds George and says he's been watching him. A guy like him can't get too comfortable. He needs a challenge, change. Richard suggests George can be the Chief's intern. George likes the sound of that.

Derek and Meredith are studying scans and they position the two needles. For the virus to have full effect, they need to inject the virus at the exact same time. They set up a simulation with fluorescein, which helps them to visualize the tumor. Derek reminds her they have to be in sync. Meredith reminds herself Derek is with Rose.

One of Kyra's daughters asks Alex if he likes princesses. He says sure. She wants to know what happens after they take out her mother's broken heart. He says they put her on a heart-lung machine and compares it so Snow White when she dies for while after eating the poisonous apple. The girls didn't know about Snow White dying and turn to their dad to comfort them. Kyra tells Alex she leaves out the scary parts. Alex says he's sorry. Kyra says it's okay because he doesn't have kids.

Izzie asks Bailey if she can give test results to a patient's friend because she can't reach her patient. Bailey says no, even when that friend is about to turn his life over because he thinks the patient is pregnant while she's not. Bailey tells her to master the basics of privacy if she ever wants to win a Harper Avery. George then comes over to hand out the Date and Tell forms, but he skips Bailey. George tells her she's the only person in the whole hospital who's exempt. Bailey appears to be offended. Rose asks George what they mean with romantic relationships, as there are different levels of intimacy. George guesses the highest level. Rose returns her form empty and walks off. Izzie tells George he's a freak, but he says he's the Chief's intern. She says it's not a real job. He says he needs the form by the end of the day.

Erica is looking at the article and says it is because she doesn't have a penis. Callie doesn't know what she's talking about and is a bit thrown off. Erica says she publishes more and does more research than Burke, so she deserved that award. She says it's a big men's club. Callie didn't know Erica was being considered. Erica wanted to wait to announce that until she won and then act all humble, but now Burke's ruined her act. She asks Callie to meet at Joe's tonight, but Callie says she has this other thing. Mark comes over to ask Callie to tell the nurses he's a good guy. Erica says they don't think he's a good guy, but Mark thinks Callie would disagree. Erica figures out what's going on and walks off. Callie asks Mark to go to the on-call room.

Todd asks Meredith about the recovery period. Meredith says it's about four to six weeks. Todd tells Darren he's stuck with him for four to six weeks then. Darren knows Todd is supposed to deploy in five days, but Todd says that was before he knew about the brain tumor. Darren tells him not to do this to himself as he's a soldier, it's who he is. Besides, he's probably not even gonna make it through surgery. Todd says he can leave then. Todd comes in closer and Darren keeps his eyes fixed on Meredith, who's finishing up. Todd tells Darren he's paranoid. Meredith walks towards the door and the men starts kissing. She's touched by their love, until the door opens and Darren's father witnesses the kiss. The men stop kissing and Kevin tells Todd to get out. Forced to obey his superior's orders, Todd leaves. Darren looks shocked.

Callie walks out of the on-call room and thanks Mark for the consult. Mark comes out and approaches Rose, who immediately says she won't talk to the nurses for him. Bailey shakes her head in disbelief as Mark continues to try to convince Rose. She doesn't think he's a good guy because he can only talk about sex. Mark says he hates women like her, who act like sex is some kind of prize, but only because they're afraid that the man will lose interest once they give it up.

Darren tells Meredith his father's not a bad guy, he's just a soldier. They all are. Meredith says Todd is down in the lobby. Darren thinks he should just go and put him out of his mind, as it would be easier for everybody. Todd can't risk being outed, especially with Dr. Evett, the army medic, hanging around. Darren knew about the don't ask don't tell deal. They have to keep their personal life seperated from their work life. Darren never thought he'd meet his personal life at work. Meredith says she can still go get Todd, but he declines the offer because of his father. Meredith realizes this must be hard, both the gay part and the tumor part.

Alex is filling out his form. George gives Lexie her form and asks Meredith for hers, but she thinks it's stupid. Rose comes over and tells George silently she's gonna need a form after all. George gives her one and Rose walks off. Meredith smiles and pretends she's okay with Derek being with Rose. George reminds himself he needs to go get Cristina's form, but Lexie says he shouldn't go near her. She informs Meredith that Cristina is singing. Meredith rushes off to go see her. Alex gives George his form, but George says it's not complete. He points towards Lexie with his eyes. Alex bluntly says he forgot and adds her to the list. He gives the form to George and Lexie can't believe Alex forgot.

Meredith tells Cristina to stop singing, but Cristina continues. Meredith tells Cristina that Burke wouldn't have a career if it weren't for her. She saved him when he had the tremor. The Harper Avery Foundation may not know that, but Burke does. Cristina doesn't respond and keeps on singing until Meredith says she's in therapy because Derek is with Rose. She's way more screwed up than Cristina. Cristina says that makes her feel a little better.

Bailey finds Richard and Adele and asks him about the form. He says they're taking it very seriously, but he doesn't even want to see her holding the form. He smiles, but Bailey is offended. She walks off and Adele gives him a look, but he doesn't know what he did wrong.

Alex has a slight fever, so he can't be on Kyra's case. Cristina gets to scrub in and Erica tells Alex he gets to be on baby-sitting duty for the rest of the day.

Meredith is taking Darren to the OR, and on their way, they come across the waiting room where Todd is sitting. He sees them and gets up. Meredith says they can take a moment, but Darren says no, leaving a hurt Todd behind.

Meredith and Derek start to inject the virus into Darren's tumor. They need to be in complete sync, so Derek keeps telling Meredith to slow down. They follow the progress on the screen, but Derek tells Meredith to look at him. This way, they manage to do it in complete sync. Everyone in the room applauds and Derek tells Meredith they're standing on the moon.

Cristina meets Erica in the ambulance bay. They're waiting for the donor heart. Erica can't imagine how Cristina must be feeling, as she helped Burke with all his research and he didn't even mention her in the article. Erica is not surprised though, as Burke's arrogance is legendary. Erica thought this would give them some common ground, but she thinks it's impressive that Cristina is rising above. She's going to follow that example and congratulates Burke.

Bailey drops off her own form in the conference room. Richard looks at it and sees there are interns on the form. Bailey says she requires the energy of youth. Also, Dr. Shepherd was a moment of weakness for the both of them and there were many moments with Dr. Sloan. Richard says he gets the joke. Bailey says it is a joke to him, but she's been a single woman for some time now and she can't believe the very idea that she could have a sexual encounter is a joke to him, so much so that he would single her out of the entire hospital as the one person who couldn't interest a member of the opposite sex. Adele says that's harassment. Bailey slaps Richard and says shame on him.

Izzie tells Alex he's taking on too much. He needs to slow down with Rebecca. Alex asks what her problem is. She always loves babies and now the one baby she can't be happy about is his. She says he's happy for him, but it's not that. She can't tell what it is. He says that's what he thought and walks off.

Callie and Erica scrub in and Erica asks if they're on for tonight. Callie reminds her she has this other thing. Erica says she's not good at making friends, but she made friends with Callie and now Callie has Sloan. She's not mad that Callie is sleeping with Sloan, she's mad that Callie didn't tell her. She's mad because instead of telling her and admitting she's one of these girls who goes all poofy when they get a boyfriend, Callie just disappears with her thing. Erica repeats she doesn't make friends easily and enters the OR.

Meredith is amazed at how much in sync she and Derek were, like they were one person. Derek says she did great. Meredith offers to stay overnight to monitor Darren's intracranial pressure, but he says he'll stay. Or they can stay together. Rose comes over and asks how it went. Derek tells her it went well. Rose was heading home and she didn't know if he was coming. Derek tells her he needs to stay. Rose starts to walk off, but Meredith tells her to wait. Derek tells Meredith he'll stay if she wants him to stay, but she says he should go be with Rose. Derek walks off with Rose.

Callie wants to go have sex with Mark, but he's not in the mood. All his surgeries got cancelled today. Callie says he's useless and she leaves.

Alex comes into Kyra's room to inform them that the donor heart has arrived, but Kyra is having trouble breathing. Alex examines her through the wall and he thinks her lung dropped. He asks to page Hahn as the monitor starts beeping and Kyra stops moving. Alex decides to break the isolation barrier.

Alex tells the family to leave the room, but the husband can't bring himself to go. Alex tells the kids that this is the scary part, so he needs them to turn around. They do so as he puts in a chest tube. The girls turn around and Alex tells them it's okay now.

George delivers the forms to Richard, alphabetized and broken down by department. Richard points out he's deligating to Adele, who admits she's seen some progress. George asks for a word. Adele leaves the room. George says he gave up a major surgery today and all his friends think he's a brownnosing perv, but that was okay because he thought that the Chief actually saw him, but now he knows the Chief was just using him to get back together with his wife. He doesn't know if he can quit a thing that isn't even real, but he quits. Richard says he does see how hard George works. The Chief's intern is not a real job, but he'd like it to be.

Meredith asks a nurse for meds and tests for Darren. The nurse offers to sit with Darren, but Meredith says she's okay.

Bailey walks past a depressed Mark.

Darren has gone into V-fib. Meredith uses the paddles to shock him.

Bailey finds Mark hasn't moved since the last time she saw him.

Meredith is sitting with Darren's father. Todd comes over and says that him being here may be uncomfortable for him, but he was trained not to leave a man when he's down, and their man is down. They both love him. All he wants to know is how Darren is doing. He then sees the look on Meredith's face and he breaks down.

Erica tells Kyra that Alex saved her life, but the chance that she got exposed to infection is too great. She'll be at the top of the list. Kyra figures out she has to stay in isolation and starts crying. Alex tells her since the barrier was already breached once today, a few minutes with her family can't hurt, provided they scrub in and follow the necessary precautions. He takes her daughters to get scrubbed in.

Bailey reaches out to Mark.

Derek tells Meredith that the spinal tap showed encephalitis. The virus reverted. There's no way they could have predicted this. He shows her a bottle of champagne and tells her he got this for when they finally get it right. He's sure they will succeed at one point. When they do, they're going to drink the champagne and remember all of the patients who helped them change the face of medicine. They're going to use this bottle as their victory dance. She gets emotional.

Cristina is in the conference room with Richard, Adele, and the HR guy. She hasn't turned her form in yet, but they need it as the hospital is still liable, even though Burke is not here. He gives Cristina a form. She fills out Burke's name and says they now have her sexual relationship with Burke on paper. Richard says he knows it's difficult for her. She says it's not. It's simple. Burke is not here and he's the better for it. He's been celebrated all over the world for the award. He's out there, and she's here, where everything is the same. She's still living in his apartment, she walks the same halls of the hospital, and she wears the same scrubs. It's not difficult. This is where she is, and where she chooses to be. But when his hand was shaking, she performed his surgeries and kept his secrets. She nursed his pride. She knows it, Richard knows it, and Burke knows it, and yet nowhere in that article her name appears. She's the unseen hand to his brilliance. While everything is the same, it's still very different. Now, she's lucky if she gets to hold a clamp. Hahn doesn't treat her well. Cristina was Burke's hand, and now she's a ghost. That's not difficult. It's unbearable. She's not proud of Burke and she does not wish him well.

Bailey has gathered the nurses in the hall and says the boycott has gone on long enough. She knows she has no authority here, but she'd like to offer her thoughts on Sloan. The man is a whore, has always been a whore, and will probably always be a whore, but he's not keeping it hidden, so they all knew who he was before they got involved with him. And now they want to act as if they didn't. Mark is nasty, but he's a pretty good doctor, so Bailey suggests they close their knees and get back to their job, so Mark can get back to his job. She tells the nurses to disperse.

Alex has dressed Kyra's family members in scrubs, gowns and gloves in order to prevent infection. He lets them inside the isolation so they can hug their mother. Izzie appears and tells Alex he did great. He walks off, but Izzie follows him. He knows Izzie thinks he's scum and that he can't do this, but this is his kid they're talking about. What Izzie thinks doesn't matter to him.

Darren's father says he wants his son to have a military burial. He steps outside the room and shortly greets Todd. Meredith leaves the room as well to give Todd the chance to say goodbye. Todd enters the room and gives Darren one last kiss. Meredith watches from a distance.

Adele and Richard are waiting for an elevator. He says he's heading home early and she admits he may indeed have changed. He compliments her blouse.

Outside the hospital, Bailey asks Izzie if she got in touch with her patient or told her friend. Izzie says no and sits down on the bench as well. It killed her not to, but she didn't tell. Bailey says she's growing. Bailey says her husband is out on a date. She stands up and takes Tuck home.

Lexie is at Joe's with George. She left three of her ex-boyfriends messages to find out how unforgettable she is. She's sure they'll call her back. George says she made a mistake sleeping with Alex, but no one has made more mistakes or slept with more inappropriate people than him. He tells her to let him be an inspiration. He's the man at the right hand of the Chief now. They drink to that.

Callie meets up Erica and confesses that she has been avoiding Erica because Addison implied that the two of them might be lesbians. They both start laughing, but they share a look.

Adele is in bed with Richard. She's glad at least some things haven't changed. They giggle.

Derek and Mark are on an elevator. Mark says the most profound, ladylike doctor of this hospital came to his defense tonight, but the best thing she could come up with was that he's a whore. Derek says he slept with Rose, but he was thinking about Meredith the whole time. He asks who's the bigger whore.

Cristina is lying awake in bed, caught up in her thoughts.

Meredith is in Katharine's office. She says it was a good day. Katharine feels it's time to come to the point since Meredith's insurance only covers 20 sessions. That was a load of crap. It was not a good day. Her patient died alone, unable to tell the love of his life how he felt. Meredith says he did that for his boyfriend, which she thinks is heroic. Katharine repeats it's a load of crap and draws the parallels for Meredith. The tragic patient dies alone while the love of his life is literally in the next room. The patient is Meredith. She's dying alone while telling herself she's a hero, while all she is, is alone. Meredith says that is the load of crap. Katharine says Derek is with Rose. Meredith stands up and says she's not gonna do this. Katharine says that as long as Meredith can't see what's wrong with that sentence, they're not going to get anywhere. If Derek is with Rose, it means he's not with her. Katharine asks if she knows why Derek is not with her. She says Meredith is scared. Meredith asks if Katharine is calling her a coward. "What do you think?" Katharine asks. Meredith storms out of the office.

Cast[]

Main Cast[]

Guest Stars[]

Co-Starring[]

Medical Notes[]

Meredith Grey[]

  • Diagnosis:
  • Treatment:
    • Talk therapy

Meredith had another session with Dr. Wyatt. When she came back after her patient died and said it was a good day, Wyatt told her it was crap, which led to Meredith walking out.

Darren Covington[]

  • Diagnosis:
    • Malignant glioma
    • Encephalitis
  • Treatment:
    • Surgery
    • Clinical trial

Darren was in Meredith and Derek's clinical trial. They had lost three more patients and each time, they learned more about what they were doing. They decided to inject the tumor in two places at the same time to increase their chances of success. Darren survived the surgery, but that night, he coded and was unable to be resuscitated. He had developed encephalitis, which is what killed him.

Mark's Patient[]

  • Diagnosis:
  • Treatment:
    • Liposuction

Mark had a liposuction scheduled at 10:00 AM.

Callie's Patient[]

  • Diagnosis:
  • Treatment:
    • Arthroplasty

Callie had an arthroplasty scheduled. She had to move it back an hour so Mark could use her scrub nurse.

Kyra Marshall[]

  • Diagnosis:
    • End-stage cardiomyopathy
    • C.O.P.D.
    • Collapsed lung
  • Treatment:
    • Isolation

Kyra had end-stage cardiomyopathy and C.O.P.D.. She was confined to an isolation bubble while she waited for a heart transplant because they gave her chemo to suppress her immune system so she wouldn't reject her donor heart. She hated being confined to the bubble because she couldn't have any physical contact with other people. A donor heart finally came through, but before she could be taken in for the surgery, Alex was forced to break isolation so he could re-inflate her collapsed lung. Because she may have been exposed to something, she wasn't able to receive the heart transplant. Because it meant additional time in isolation, Alex worked it out so that her family could come in and see her.

Music[]

Song Performer Scene
"Carmela (Four Tet Remix)" Beth Orton
  • Bailey walks Tuck around the hospital.
  • Richard hangs a flyer, which he says reflects well on the hospital, but he's worried Cristina will have a problem with it.
  • Meredith talks about Derek in therapy.
  • Dr. Wyatt tells Meredith to remind herself of the reality.
"Like a Virgin" Sandra Oh and Chyler Leigh
  • Cristina starts singing as she retrieves hearts.
  • Lexie joins in.
  • Cristina continues once Lexie has left.
"Mansard Roof" Vampire Weekend
  • George hands out the Date and Tell forms.
  • Rose comes and asks for a form after all.
  • Lexie tells Meredith about the singing and Meredith leaves.
  • Alex gives George his form and George points out that he forgot Lexie.
"Know When to Walk Away" Jay Clifford
  • Richard is confused by Bailey is upset.
  • Tyler takes everyone's temp.
  • Alex has a fever, so he's kicked off the team.
  • Meredith stops as Darren is walked to surgery so he can talk to Todd if he wants, but Darren declines because his father is watching.
"Brightest Hour" The Submarines
  • Callie watches Erica leave.
  • Derek updates Darren's father on his status.
  • Derek offers for them both to stay overnight with Darren.
  • Rose asks how it went. Derek tells Rose he's staying, but Meredith says he can leave.
  • Callie goes to Mark for sex, but he refuses. He wants to talk, but she refuses.
"Only Yesterday" Taken by Trees
  • Meredith gives orders for Darren to a nurse.
  • Bailey watches Mark sit alone.
  • Meredith works on Darren as he codes.
  • Todd goes to confront Darren's father just after Meredith has told him his son died.
  • Erica tells Kyra she has to wait for another heart.
"Good Arms vs. Bad Arms" Frightened Rabbit
  • Bailey asks Izzie about her patient. Izzie says she didn't tell her friend.
  • Lexie vents to George.
  • Callie admits she's been avoiding Erica because of what Addison said.
  • Richard and Adele have had sex.
  • Mark is upset because the best Bailey could say for him is that he's a whore.
  • Derek says he slept with Rose and thought about Meredith.
  • Meredith tells Wyatt it was a good day, but Wyatt calls her out on it.

Notes and Trivia[]

Grey's_Anatomy_4x14_The_Becoming_Promo

Grey's Anatomy 4x14 The Becoming Promo

  • This episode's title originated from the song The Becoming, originally sung by Nine Inch Nails.
  • This episode scored 16.03 million viewers.[1]
  • The season 4 DVD set includes an audio commentary for this episode by Sandra Oh and director Julie Anne Robinson.
  • In the article about Dr. Burke's winning the Harper Avery Award of 2008 it is revealed that at the time he was working with Sutera Pharmaceuticals.*[source?]

Gallery[]

Episode Stills[]

Quotes[]

Bailey: Stevens? You want to win yourself a Harper Avery? Then you need to master the basics of privacy.

Erica: I don't... make friends easily. I'm awkward and am bad at small talk and generally don't like people I don't know... but I made friends with you and now you have this thing and that thing is Sloan.
Callie: Are you mad that I'm sleeping with Mark Sloan?
Erica: I'm not mad you're sleeping with Sloan. I'm mad that you didn't tell me that you're sleeping with Sloan. I'm mad at you. Because instead of telling me and admitting that you're one of those girls who goes all pouffy when she gets a boyfriend, you disappear with your thing. I don't make friends easily.

Derek: On my way here I stopped, and I got this. For when we get it right. Because we will. We will succeed, and we will save someone. Then when we do we're going to open this bottle of champagne. And we're going to drink to Phillip Robinson, and Daron Covington, and all the other patients that helped us change the face of medicine. And we're going to celebrate. We're going to use this as our victory dance.

Cristina: It is simple. Burke is not here, he is gone. And he's the better for it. He's winning the Harper Avery Award and being celebrated all over the world. That is not difficult. He's out there. And I'm here. Where everything is the same. I still live in his apartment, I walk the same halls of this hospital, I wear the same scrubs, even that is not difficult. This is where I am. This is where I choose to be. But sir, when his hand was shaking, I performed his surgeries. I kept his secrets, I nursed his pride. You know it, and I know it, and he knows it. He knows it. But yet nowhere in that newspaper article does my name appear. I am the unseen hand to his brilliance. And yet while everything is the same it's very, very different. Now, I'm lucky if I get to hold a clamp. Hahn treats me like....I was his hand. And now I'm a ghost. That's not difficult. It's unbearable. I know everybody is proud of him, but I am not, and I do not wish him well.

Bailey: Just wanted to drop off the form myself... answer any questions you might have.
Richard: There are interns on this form
Bailey: Mmhmm.. I require the energy of youth. Dr. Shepherd was a moment of weakness for both of us.
Richard: Dr. Sloan?
Bailey: Oh that was many moments. On-call rooms. It was..very hot.
Adele: Mmhmm.. Steamy.
Richard: All right, Dr. Bailey I get the joke.
Bailey: See this is a joke to you. I am a single woman. I've been a single woman for some time now, but the very idea that I could have a sexual encounter, a consensual sexual encounter..is a joke to you!
Richard: Dr. Bailey, I...
Bailey: So much so that you would single me out of this entire hospital as the one person who couldn't interest a person of the opposite sex..it's..it's..it's just...
Adele: It's harassment.
Richard: A..Adele!
(Bailey slaps the Chief's shoulder hard.)
Bailey: Just shame on you sir! Just shame on you! (She storms out.)

Bailey: This boycott has gone on long enough. Now, okay, I have no authority here, but I'd like to offer my thoughts on Dr. Sloan.
Mark: You're doing great!
Bailey: This man is a whore, has always been a whore, will probably always be a whore, but, I mean, that's not a secret, he's not keeping it hidden. You all knew who he was before you got involved with him and now you wanna be all "Woe is me? He didn't call me back, he's dating other women..." He's nasty! But he's a doctor here, and a pretty good one. So let us all close our knees, and get back to our jobs, so he can get back to his job and help the people that really need it. Disperse!

Mark: The most refined professional lady-like doctor came to my defense tonight. The best she could come up with was: "He's a whore." I'm a whore.
Derek: I slept with her. The whole time I was thinking of Meredith. Who's the bigger whore?

See Also[]

A complete overview of this episode's crew can be found here.

The Grey Matter blog post on this episode can be found here.

References[]

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