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I Am Not Waiting Anymore

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We cover up injuries with tape and gauze to protect the injury, to prevent infection, to save the patient from further suffering. The hard part comes when you have to rip the bandage off, because that can hurt like hell. It hurts to tear that bandage off. We don't wanna see what's underneath. But maybe it's not the fear of the pain that holds us back. Maybe, we're really afraid to see if the wound underneath is still open, or if it might actually be healing.

I Am Not Waiting Anymore is the fifteenth episode of the twelfth season and the 260th overall episode of Grey's Anatomy.

Short SummaryEdit

Jackson learns about April's pregnancy, while Alex and the team of doctors handle an hours-long triple-organ transplant surgery. Meredith considers dating again, and Andrew insists on not receiving special treatment after he and Maggie go public.

Full SummaryEdit

April goes to the desk to ask the nurse if she's seen Jackson. April then goes up to the lab to find him.

Jackson is working in the lab when Arizona comes in. She asks if he's talked to April. He says he hasn't. He thinks April knows about him dating again. Arizona says April doesn't know anything about that. Jackson asks her to keep it to herself. Arizona then says that April's pregnant. Moments later, April comes in, asking Jackson to talk. Jackson asks why Arizona is telling her.

Richard and Andrew wait for Maggie to go to dinner. Richard asks if Andrew knows where they're going Andrew says they're going to a steakhouse unless he doesn't want to. Richard says he loves a good t-bone. He then suggests that Andrew call her. Andrew gets a text from Maggie cancelling for a transplant. She suggests that they go anyway. Richard says he's a little tired and so is Andrew. They agree to a rain check.

Will asks Meredith if she'll go out with him. She said she's said no to nicer faces, which he says will make it easy this time. Maggie runs up and tells Meredith they have a triple transplant coming in. Will introduces himself and so does Maggie. Meredith tells Maggie to tell Alex she'll be right in. Once she's gone, Will deduces that Meredith has been talking about him. Meredith says that's not necessarily a good thing. Meredith agrees to go to drinks tomorrow unless she changes her mind.

Jackson asks April when she was planning to tell him and she says she was on her way to tell him right then. Jackson doesn't believe her. He asks when she knew. She says she's 12 weeks and confesses that she knew before they signed the papers. April gets paged and says she needs to leave. Jackson tells her not to walk away from the conversation, but she does.

Amelia tells Owen he should get a dog. Owen reminds her that he lives in a trailer. She says they can talk about that, too. She says she likes the trailer, but also likes grown up living spaces. Owen suggests they have dinner the next day. It's his birthday and he wants to celebrate with her. His birthday's actually next week, so she has time to buy him a gift. She asks if he likes lobster and if he knows how to cook it. He says yes and starts to tell her, but she's already lost. Owen gets paged away and they firm plans to have lobster the next night before parting ways.

Alex tells Nick and Holly that they'll start with their daughter, Kelsey's, lung transplants first. Then, if it goes well, they'll do the liver and pancreas. It has to be done all at once because if they replace one, the others will break down. Kelsey says she doesn't want the surgery. Alex says the donor's a one in a million match. If they do it now, she can go to spring formal with Parker. He says with the new lungs, she can dance at the formal.

Meredith looks into Kelsey's room and asks Maggie if that's the kid they were paged about. Maggie says it is. Meredith needs to text the sitter because it'll be a long night. Maggie asks Meredith about Will, which she says isn't a big deal. She agreed to drinks. Alex comes out and asks if they're awake. Maggie says Meredith's ready. She thought she wasn't ready with Andrew, but now it's out in the open and it's good. Alex asks what she's talking about and she explains about Will. Alex says she'll blow him off later. Meredith insists that she's going.

April tells Penny to prepare MTP for an incoming trauma. As April goes to leave, Arizona comes in and apologizes to her. April doesn't care. Arizona says she lived through it with her last time and she wants to help so this time can be different. April says Arizona that she and Jackson lived that nightmare and she refuses to do it again. She says this time will be different, because this time, she is choosing to have faith in a good outcome until God himself tells her otherwise. April says she'll deal with it herself. She tells Arizona not to think about her or talk to her. And then she tells her to go to hell.

Nathan's shocked that April didn't tell Jackson, because he had a right to know. Nathan says in Jackson's position, he'd be pissed to. The elevator doors open and they greet Tess, who fell over a hundred feet while rock climbing with her fiancé, Michael Cook.

Jo says the lungs are perfect. Maggie talks through the procedure and thanks Jo for coming back in, but Jo says she wouldn't miss it. Andrew comes in. After Jo leaves, Maggie asks why he's not at dinner. Andrew says they postponed because it's weird. Maggie asks if he wants to scrub in. He says yes and she offers to shuffle residents, but he says not to do that and leaves.

Meredith does jumping jacks in the bathroom. Callie asks in and asks why. Meredith explains that she needs to wake up for a triple organ transplant. Callie goes into a stall. Through the door, Meredith tells her about the situation with Will. Callie's glad she's getting back on the horse. Callie says at first, it will be weird, but it's good. Meredith leaves, but Callie doesn't know that and continues to explain how it's like ice skating. Bailey comes in and hears Callie talking as she washes her hands. Callie comes out of the stall shocked to see Bailey and not Meredith. Bailey says she's more of a roller girl herself.

Nathan and April work on Tess while Michael refuses to leave her side. They prepare to move her to the OR.

Tess's parents come in with Owen, who is explaining her injuries to them. They see her being moved to the OR. After she's gone, they tell Michael they told her not to take her on the mountain. Michael asks where he can wait. They all want to wait. Owen takes them to a waiting area.

Alex talks to the surgeon, telling them to take off time to nap, eat, hydrate. Maggie comes in and says Kelsey's ready. The start the surgery. Meredith starts operating and tells Maggie and Alex that they're not going to talk about Will. Meredith asks Jo if she has something else to talk about. Stephanie says Jo's engagement ring is in a drawer still. Jo counters by asking Stephanie when she last had sex. Alex says if Meredith's going to cancel her plans, she should do it soon. Meredith continues working and tells Alex and Maggie she knows they're making faces at each other.

Nathan asks if there's no directive in place for Tess. April says her fiancé knows what she wants, but he has no legal rights. Owen and Nathan start to bicker over the case. Owen tells Nathan they shouldn't give up. Nathan says he wasn't planning to.

Meredith comes in and asks where they are. Maggie says they're working on the lung. Meredith wants to scrub in to help, but Maggie says she has a few more hours. She can shower, nap, change clothes. Meredith says Maggie's ridiculous and leaves. After she's gone, Maggie tells Alex to stop being the harbinger of doom about it. Alex tells her that if Meredith feels trapped, she'll bolt, so Maggie shouldn't make a big deal about it.

Meredith talks to Stephanie about how long Kelsey's surgery will take. She says there's time. Stephanie asks what for. Meredith asks where they keep the razor kits.

Amelia walks in on Meredith shaving her legs. Amelia points out the shower, but Meredith says she's on a clock. It's an emergency shave. Meredith says it's not a big deal, just drinks. Amelia asks what she's going to wear. Meredith says a sports bra and grannie panties, really whatever she has in her locker from yesterday. Meredith says what she's doing is stupid. Amelia says she brought in the top Meredith likes and she also has some heels, actually Meredith's heels that she says are too slutty for a mother of three. Amelia says she'll leave it all out of her. Meredith thanks her.

Callie is scrubbing in when Arizona comes in. She got a message from Kayla's mom about a sleepover with Sofia. Callie says it's okay with her. Arizona hesitates in the doorway and Callie asks if there's something else. Arizona says no, but then admits that she did something bad. She was trying to do something good. She thought she was being a good friend. She thinks she's right. Callie asks her about it. Arizona tells her that April's pregnant and refused to tell Jackson, so she told him. Callie's shocked. Arizona asks if she did the right thing. Callie says she didn't. Arizona says he's the other parent and April shouldn't be keeping things from him. Callie says it doesn't matter. Arizona asks what if it had been them. What if they'd been trying and she got pregnant right when they split up. Wouldn't Callie want to know that? Callie says, yes, of course, but from Arizona, not from someone else. Callie tells her she screwed this one up big time.

Isaac sits down next to Andrew in the gallery. Andrew asks why he's not down there. He says he was on the procurement. Isaac asks why Andrew's not down there, because he has an all-access OR pass. He applauds Andrew for being smart. Isaac says there's no way he could land an attending. Maybe he could get a resident. But Wilson is with Alex and Blake likes ladies. He then suggests Edwards and asks Andrew if he thinks Isaac has a chance. Andrew says no and then says Isaac should leave because Andrew's about to nut punch him. Isaac leaves.

Owen has removed part of Tess's intestines. She'll need TPN once she's stable because of the bowel loss. A nurse asks April how long she thinks she'll be because Jackson wants to know. April says it'll take as long as it takes. Owen asks about it and April says it's fine. Tess becomes unstable and her pupils are dilated and non-responsive. April suggests possibilities, but Nathan says it doesn't matter, because there's no coming back from it. They leave Penny to finish the colostomy and leave the OR. Penny asks April why they're leaving. April says there's nothing more to do, but it's not often Penny will get a chance to practice on live tissue, so she should take advantage with the colostomy.

Owen says he'll call Amelia for a neuro evaluation for Tess, but Nathan says she's not getting off the ventilator. April says it's not fair. They'll wait until Amelia's done and then go to Tess's parents. Jackson comes up and wonders why April told Arizona first. April doesn't have time, but Jackson says she's taken enough time. Bailey, Richard, Owen, and Nathan watch as they argue. Jackson asks if she thought the pregnancy would factor into his decision to sign the divorce papers. She knew it would, but she didn't want him to stay for the baby. Richard tells them that's enough. Jackson tells her she wins and he's done.

Meredith looks at herself in the mirror after she's gotten dressed.

Meredith enters the OR. Maggie tells her there's still a lot of time before she has to be there and tells her to leave. Meredith tells her to let it go. Meredith tells Jo to go get her phone and cancel her plans with Will.

April cries in an empty room. Owen comes in. April asks for a minute, but Owen asks why she didn't tell him. She didn't want to tell anyone, especially him. She feels like she's screwing everything up and she's trying to protect her baby and it's screwed up. Owen says she's having a baby. It's not screwed up. It's a miracle. April cries and they hug.

Arizona finds Bailey in a room looking at patient scans. She asks if she can ask Bailey a question. Bailey says she just did. Arizona starts to tell her about April, but she already heard. Bailey says she shared confidential medical information without permission. She did it to a fellow surgeon. Speaking as her boss, that's a fireable offense. Arizona asks what about as her friend. Bailey says she can see where she thought she was doing what was right, but that doesn't make it right. Bailey says she doesn't have any words of wisdom for her. Arizona says okay and leaves.

Jackson and Richard are in a storage room. Jackson says it's not Richard's business. He says it is when they brawl in the middle of the hospital. Jackson says he doesn't need help. Richard's not his father. Richard knows that, but who is? He doesn't see Jackson's father anywhere. He asks Jackson if that's the man he wants to be. Richard says he's having a child. It might not be how he wanted, but it's happening. He found out late, but Richard found out decades late. But now he knows and he needs to step up. That's what matters.

Owen, April, and Nathan explain to Tess's parents that Tess has virtually no brain activity. Her mother says she's still breathing. She's alive. April explains that the vent is breathing for her. She can't do anything for herself. She has tubes doing everything for her and she'll need them indefinitely. She'll need around the clock professional care, likely for the rest of her life. Her mother says she'll need the care until she gets better. Her father asks if they know when that will be, when she might get better. Owen says she could be moved to a long-term care facility and offers them some brochures if that's what they decide, or they could decide to withdraw care. They want the doctors to do everything they can to save Tess. Michael says that's not what she would want. Her parents believe she'll wake up, even thought Nathan says it's highly unlikely. Michael says she knows Tess wouldn't want to live like that. If it happened two months from now, it'd be his decision.

They're finishing Kelsey's lung transplant. It's gone great. Maggie offers to stay, but Alex says she can go and he'll close. After she's gone, Alex asks Meredith what her deal is with Thorpe. Meredith says it's fine. Alex explains what he heard about him. Meredith says he's nice and funny. Alex says the first time after someone important is hard. Alex says you feel like you belong to somebody else, like you're cheating. You're not, but it feels that way. He never had a wife die, but he's had a few first time afters. There's always something after eventually. They lose people and find new ones. That's how it works. Alex says if she's not into him, who cares? But if she is, it's okay. Alex says it'll be weird no matter what, so she might as well get it over with.

Alex tells Kelsey's parents she'll be awake soon. She'll likely make it to the dance. Because the new organs don't carry the CF gene, once she's off the vent, they likely won't ever see her on one again. Her parents thank him.

Owen and Michael look into Tess's room. Owen says she'll be on the ventilator forever unless something changes. Michael says her parents will hate him forever for taking her on the mountain and she'll hate him for bringing her back down. In the room, her parents look at brochures. They're hopeful she'll recover. Nathan says they never know and not to give up hope.

Owen and Nathan talk in the hallway. Owen says all day, he wanted to give up on her. He says he wanted to do what the patient wanted. He tells Owen to let it go. If he still feels guilty after all this time, that's on him. Nathan's the one who stayed and looked. Owen gave up and stopped looking. He came to Seattle and no one there even knows he had a sister. Nathan says if he needs to hate someone to look in a mirror.

Arizona comes into the attendings' lounge. Amelia says she's had a tough day. Everyone's heard by now what she did. Arizona says she doesn't know what to do. She wants to make it right, she has to, but she doesn't know how to fix it. Amelia says she did something indefensible. Arizona says maybe she should go to April and apologize again. Amelia says all she can do is accept that what she did was wrong. The only way to fix it is to wait. Maybe April will forgive her and maybe she won't, but it's not up to her.

Maggie approaches Andrew. He asks about the transplant. She says it went great and she'll tell him all about it. He says he's going to stay. He has early rounds and he needs to study. She offers to help him study. He doesn't want help. He doesn't want special treatment. He doesn't want to miss out on things, but that's already happening. He wanted them to go public, but he's just going to study. She says she'll see him tomorrow.

Meredith sees Will in the waiting room. She looks at the ferry boat scrub cap and goes up to him. He's glad she called him back. She says she shouldn't have because she's way too tired for drinks. She probably shouldn't even drive home until she's crashed at the hospital for a few hours. Will suggests that he take her home. He just wants to give her a ride to her home so she can crash in her own bed. He knows what 17 hours straight feels like. He can take her out some other time.

Alex watches them talk from a distance and smiles.

Amelia walks up the trailer with a box. She knocks. She has a box full of lobster, but Owen doesn't answer right away. He opens the door. He invites her in and she sees that he's been drinking. He forgot they were having dinner. Amelia says she'll put the lobsters in the fridge. Owen says he'll boil water right now. He fumbles around and she says they can try it another time. She leaves. She walks away from the trailer crying.

April hears a knock at the door. It's Jackson. She opens the door. He apologizes for how he reacted. They're having a baby who doesn't deserve to have them arguing. April was trying to avoid that. Jackson's trying to understand. They can figure it out. April says she waited because last time tore them apart. Everyone got hurt and she didn't want that for either of them. She wanted to wait until she knew everything was okay and she's sorry. Jackson says she wanted to wait until it was too late, until she was too far along to do anything about it. Too late for them to have options. April says that's not an option for her. He asks what about his options. She says he doesn't count here. He's the father when there's a baby, but it's her body, so he doesn't get a choice here. He has no rights. She closes and locks the door. He smacks the door.

Meredith tells Will about her surgery as they eat in his car, explaining what she'd done. He tells her about a surgery he did on a patient who was a heavy drinking. He almost stopped drinking right then. Meredith says she wouldn't want to see her liver. Meredith says she should go inside. He says she should. Then she starts to tell him something else she did during the surgery. He asks her for more information and they continue to talk.

CastEdit

  • Meredith Grey
  • Alex Karev
  • Miranda Bailey
  • Richard Webber
  • Callie Torres
  • Owen Hunt
  • Arizona Robbins
  • April Kepner
  • Jackson Avery
  • Amelia Shepherd
  • Jo Wilson
  • Stephanie Edwards
  • Maggie Pierce
  • Nathan Riggs
  • Andrew DeLuca
  • Isaac Cross
  • Penelope Blake
  • Will Thorpe
  • Steven
  • Tess's Mother
  • Michael Cook
  • Holly
  • Nick
  • Kelsey
  • Tess
  • Dr. Knox
  • OR Nurse
  • Medevac Pilot

Main CastEdit

Guest StarsEdit

Co-StarringEdit

Medical NotesEdit

KelseyEdit

  • Diagnosis:
    • Cystic fibrosis
  • Treatment:
    • Lung transplant
    • Liver transplant
    • Pancreas transplant

Kelsey had cystic fibrosis, and needed lung, liver, and pancreas transplant. When a donor came through, they planned to transplant the lungs first and then the liver and pancreas, in order to keep them from failing. The surgery was successful.

TessEdit

  • Diagnosis:
    • Multiple fractures
    • Internal injuries
    • Persistent vegetative state
  • Treatment:
    • Surgery
    • Colostomy
    • Mechanical ventilation

Tess, 28, fell while rock climbing. She had multiple fractures and internal injuries. She had free fluid in the abdomen, so they moved her to the OR for surgery. They had to remove part of her intestines because the blood supply to the area was damaged. However, she became unstable in surgery and had signs of brain death. They left Penny to do a colostomy and close before calling for a neuro consult. Her parents were told about her condition and they chose to move her to a long-term care facility, refusing to give up hope that she'd recover.

Callie's PatientEdit

  • Diagnosis:
  • Treatment:
    • Surgery

Callie scrubbed in to operate on a patient.

MusicEdit

Song Performer Scene
"Boom" Outasight
  • Meredith enters the Or of rate transplant.
  • She gets sent away.
  • Meredith talks to Stephanie about Kelsey.
  • Meredith shaves her legs.
  • Amelia comes in and they talk about Meredith's date.
  • Amelia offers her an outfit.
"Home" Sebastian Kole
  • Meredith looks at herself in the mirror as she dresses.
  • Meredith goes back to the OR.
  • Maggie is surprised to see her.
  • Meredith sends Jo to text Will.
  • April cries in an empty room.
  • Owen comes in and asks why she didn't tell him.
  • She says she didn't want to tell anyone, especially him.
  • She hugs him and cries.
  • He says having a baby is a miracle.
"If You Went Away" Daniel Wilson
  • Amelia runs away from the trailer, crying.
  • Jackson knocks on April's door.
  • He apologizes for how he reacted.
  • He says they can figure it out and she agrees.
  • She says she waited to tell him because last time tore them apart and she didn't want that again, for either of them.
  • She apologizes, but he says she wanted to wait until she couldn't do anything about it.
  • He asks what about him, but she says he doesn't have a choice in it because it's her body and he's not her husband.

Notes and TriviaEdit

Grey's Anatomy 12x15 Promo "I Am Not Waiting Anymore" (HD)00:21

Grey's Anatomy 12x15 Promo "I Am Not Waiting Anymore" (HD)

  • This episode's title originated from the song I Am Not Waiting Anymore, originally sung by Field Report.
  • This episode scored 7.91 million viewers.
  • The table read for this episode took place on January 6, 2016.
  • The last day of filming was January 19, 2016.
  • The song used in the promo is "Green and Gold" by Leanne La Havas.

GalleryEdit

Episode StillsEdit

Behind the ScenesEdit

QuotesEdit

Callie: It's skating time, my friend. Push and glide. Push and glide. You know?
Miranda: I'm more of a roller girl, myself.

Arizona: What if it had been us? I mean, what if we'd been trying, and then suddenly I was pregnant right when we split up. I mean, wouldn't you... wouldn't you want to know that?
Callie: Well, yes. Yes, of course. But from you. Not from someone else. I'm sorry. You screwed this one up big time.

Alex: It's hard first time out after somebody important. First girl after Izzie left? It was pretty messy. You feel like you belong to somebody else, like you're cheating, you know? I mean, you're not, but man, sure feels that way. I never had a wife die, but... I've had a few "first time afters", Mer. There's always something after, eventually. We lose people and then we find new ones. It's how it works.
Meredith: I guess.
Alex: Oh, I know. Look, if you're not into him, who cares? But if you are, it's okay.

Meredith: Wilson, don't you have anything to talk about?
Jo: Oh. Um...
Stephanie: Her engagement ring is still in the drawer in her bedside table.
Isaac: Engagement ring?
Jo: Steph, when was the last time you had sex?

Amelia: Oh. This is an emergency leg shave.
Meredith: It's not a big deal. It's just drinks.
Amelia: What are you gonna wear?
Meredith: Uh, sports bra and granny panties, apparently, or whatever is in my locker from yesterday.

Owen: April, you're having a baby.
April: Yeah.
Owen: It's not screwed up. It's a miracle.

See AlsoEdit

A complete overview of this episode's crew can be found here.

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